I don’t know if you have had the opportunity to listen to the most recent podcast, Busy the New Fine. In the beginning of the story I allow an overachiever to make me feel bad and question my worth. I wonder if I am doing enough and try to figure out how to make my tasks and life sound more exciting. If you haven’t listened, don’t worry, I did not spoil the story. You can still listen to it and be surprised.
Now seriously readers, this is a real problem we as humans have. We allow (the key word being allow) others to make us feel inadequate, measly, and insignificant. And unless we like to be miserable and feel worthless, let’s quit doing this to ourselves.
1. Let’s quit comparing our house to the pictures in House Beautiful. Believe me, those rooms have been cleaned and staged. No one can live very long without junk accumulating on every available horizontal surface.
2. Let’s quit looking at social media and comparing our life to someone’s staged and posted life. No one’s life is a whirlwind of exciting activities and perfect pictures. Remember that behind all those perfect pictures are un-perfect areas. Unmade beds, crumb littered car interiors, and trash cans lining the curb. If the camera was moved a little to the right, or the picture was taken ten minutes earlier when the kids where fighting about a sibling looking at them, we would see reality. But if you are like me, you delete those pictures. Who wants to be reminded of reality when you live in that time-zone nearly 24-7?
3. Let’s quit comparing our kids to other kids, our mates to other mates, our house to the one across town in the exclusive and gated community. Our eyes are deceptive and cannot see behind the scene. Besides, comparison leaves us feeling either defeated, because we compare our self with someone vastly superior to us (we can’t cook so we compare our self to a famous chief), or we feel superior and prideful because we compare our self to someone vastly worse than us (we are the famous chef comparing our self to our friend who cannot even boil water without ruining a pot).
4. Let’s realize that we are all unique and gifted with different talents. Let’s strive to develop our talents to the best of our ability and be happy that we are not all gifted the same way. Diversity is needed to balance out the world. If we were all gifted in the same way, this world would be rather boring and most of us would not be needed.
And that is the beauty of our diversity and having different gifts. We are all needed and have a role to play in this glorious life. Imagine if we were all salesmen? We would have no customers. All organizers? Who would we plan for? All messys? How would we find anything?
If I need a bathroom cleaned, I have a friend that loves cleaning. If I need prayer, I have a friend who is a prayer warrior. If I need encouraging and listened to, I have another friend I can call. Remember, no one can do it all. And no one is not needed.
So let’s be realistic. Everyone is human, has flaws and faults, and only has so many talents. But the good news is we all have talents and gifts and can contribute to those around us in some positive way. So let’s quit trying to be like our best friend, our imaginary friend, or our supposedly perfect ideal. Quit allowing others to make you feel deficient, less than, or not enough. Instead, be the best you that you can possibly be. Yes, you! Be your own unique self that shines brightly to those around you.
Stand tall. Be yourself.
Laugh a little, no, a lot. Have fun and enjoy being yourself,
- Shame: Recognize It, Heal From It, Walk in Freedom - May 28, 2020
- Why We Use Shame On Others and Ourselves: 6 Eye Opening Reasons - April 22, 2020
- Combat Shame by Knowing Your True Identity - April 2, 2020