Why Seeing Another Viewpoint Benefits You and Others

We are drawn to people who understand us.

Who can peek into our world.

We sense they know us.

We feel seen and heard. Connected with them.

We tell them a sad story and they sympathize.

They ask questions. Wanting to better understand.

We tell them our dreams and they don’t laugh. Our hurts, and they don’t recoil, but instead offer bandages and encouragement. We give them a glimpse of our true self we usually hide, and they don’t judge.

What do these people have that draws us to them? They have the ability to get out of themselves and see another point of view. One different than their own.

The benefits of seeing other viewpoints is numerous to us and those around us. Seeing other perspectives makes us better people and will improve our relationships.The benefits of seeing other viewpoints is numerous to us and those around us. Seeing other perspectives makes us better people and will improve our relationships.

 

Interacting with people lacking this characteristic.

 

I think we all know someone who lacks this characteristic. To see a different view point than their own.

We tell them our dream, and because it isn’t what they would do, our dream is shot down by them.

We share our feelings, and they belittle them. Maybe question therm. Tell us we are wrong to feel that way.

We try and talk about our self, and they shift the conversation back to be about them.

They work hard to win an argument, because they can only see their side, and of course it is right (to them).

We tell them something sad, like our dad died, they say they are sorry, and then march right on with their agenda.

It seems impossible for them to mourn with us or rejoice with us.

All conversation keeps coming back to them.

We don’t feel listened to, encouraged, understood, or hardly acknowledged when we leave their presence.

The benefits of seeing other viewpoints is numerous to us and those around us. Seeing other perspectives makes us better people and will improve our relationships.

 

What is wrong?

 

What is different about these two people?

What makes us thrive and bloom in the presence of one, and shrink and feel neglected and unseen in the presence of the other?

One can step out of themselves and see another point of view than their own. The other can’t (or rarely does). They cannot (or refuse to) see and acknowledge another viewpoint than their own.

We may call them self-centered. Self-absorbed. Extremely selfish. And even a narcissist.

But one trait they all share is they all lack the desire or ability to see different perspectives. To put themselves in another person’s place. To look at something from another point of view.

They see and acknowledge only their point of view. Their perspective. Their ideas, opinions, and arguments. And unless you need them to remind you again, only their opinions, ideas, argument, feelings, and point-of view is correct. Well according to them. And they are quick to tell you that yours is wrong when it disagrees or differs with theirs.

The benefits of seeing other viewpoints is numerous to us and those around us. Seeing other perspectives makes us better people and will improve our relationships.

So why does this matter?

 

We as humans are able to have empathy, compassion and sympathize with others only if we can see (this doesn’t mean agree with) or understand to some extent the other person’s point of view.

Maybe we have a friend who gets quiet and visibly anxious every time there is a conflict. We may encourage them to be more assertive. More direct. But when we learn that every time there was a conflict in her childhood home her parents were verbally abusive to each other and to the children, a light goes on in our head. Suddenly we understand her behavior. We see her point of view and why she gets quiet. She is bracing herself for the storm.

We have put our self in her shoes. We have demonstrated empathy. Which is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another without having experienced the exact same thing.

We won’t tell her to suck it up. Quit being a wimp. Tell her she is too sensitive. Or belittle her.

No, we will demonstrate compassion. Which is showing sympathetic pity and concern for the sufferings or misfortunes of others. It is understanding the pain of another and trying to lessen it.

We will say we are sorry she grew up in a household like that. That we understand her anxiety during conflict. We will encourage her and sympathize with her. And our advice will take her background and experiences into account.

The benefits of seeing other viewpoints is numerous to us and those around us. Seeing other perspectives makes us better people and will improve our relationships.

 

Benefits of seeing another viewpoint. 

 

There are many advantages to being able to see other points of views.

This trait allows us to show compassion. Empathy. Kindness. Tenderness. Care and concern. Patience. Love. Long suffering. Gentleness. Mercy. Grace.

Seeing a point of view other than our own helps us understand people. Helps us forgive people. Keeps us from being so judgmental and critical. Lessons our hypocrisy. Assists us in releasing anger against others.

Seeing the world and people from a perspective other than our own helps us rejoice with those around us and mourn with those around us.

And just because we can see another’s point of view, does not mean we agree with them. But it does allow us to better understand them and their decisions.

Seeing other point of views helps us better understand our self. It can change or validate our feelings, thoughts, and viewpoint. It helps us learn and grow.

It helps us be better parents. Bosses, Employees. Neighbors. Children. Friends. Citizens.

It encourages us to be less selfish and self-focused.

And it makes us more like Jesus.

The benefits of seeing other viewpoints is numerous to us and those around us. Seeing other perspectives makes us better people and will improve our relationships.

 

Jesus is our model of someone who can identify with other viewpoints.

 

He wasn’t content to imagine what being a human was like. He came down to experience it.

He knows what it is like to be hungry. To be so tired your eyes keep closing and your head is nodding up and down. He understands what cold feels like and how a tasty meal can be the highlight of a day.

He knows what it is like to scrape a knee. Struggle to learn something new. Live in an unperfect family. Have the town gossip about you.

He knows what it is like to obey parents. To feel the wind blow. To laugh at a joke. To walk far on a hot day.

He knows about being a human and all that goes with it because he willingly humbled himself so he could better empathize, sympathize, and understand us.

He wanted to know our point of view. What it was like to live in an unperfect world with sin and suffering. Kindness and hate. Joy and unrest. Love and anger.

We are told he experienced it all and can empathize with us as our brother.

And his attitude demonstrates this.

He didn’t tell the lame man that he should have been a vegan and taken his vitamins, no he had compassion on him and healed him.

He didn’t lecture the lady caught in adultery and recite her sins to all who would listen, making her the object of a lecture so others could learn from her bad example. No, he had compassion on her and told her to sin no more.

He offered her grace. What she did not earn or deserve.

And he offers us the same.

The benefits of seeing other viewpoints is numerous to us and those around us. Seeing other perspectives makes us better people and will improve our relationships.

 

The dangers of seeing only our viewpoint.

 

Our enemy want us to keep our eyes focused only on our self. To see only our perspective. To promote our beliefs and opinions.

He doesn’t want us to see other perspectives. To put our self in another person’s point of view.

Because then we bond and connect with that person. We develop empathy and compassion. We better understand them and sympathize with them.

No, he wants us to criticize, judge, hold a grudge, think of ourselves as superior to them. Accuse instead of ask questions. Fight with them. Hold them in contempt. Adhere to only our viewpoint and consider none other.

But God’s way is to be open to other viewpoints. To love others and God, we have to be open to and consider their viewpoints.

And to become more like Christ, don’t we have to adopt and consider and strive to replace our viewpoint with his view point?

The benefits of seeing other viewpoints is numerous to us and those around us. Seeing other perspectives makes us better people and will improve our relationships.

 

What can we do?

 

We can develop our empathy and compassion muscles by taking the time and energy to listen to others. Ask questions. And try to understand them and their point of view.

The neat thing is God made us all different. We have different personalities. Gifts and talents. Different things motivate us. Make us sad and happy. We laugh at different jokes. Cry at different movies. Have different favorite foods, colors, and decorating styles. We grew up in different families, environments, and do different jobs.

Let’s be curious and broaden our horizons and thinking.

We can learn more about our self. Examine and understand our view point so we can change and overwrite the flaws we see. Having self-awareness helps us throw off the chains that are slowing us down and keeping us in bad habits.

We can learn to see other perspectives. So we can better love, understand, and connect with those around us. So we become God’s hands and feet to a world who needs grace and compassion.

Above all, we need to see, understand, and develop God’s perspective. His viewpoint is full of truth, grace, and mercy. Which will lead us to be more compassionate and empathetic to our self and others.

The benefits of seeing other viewpoints is numerous to us and those around us. Seeing other perspectives makes us better people and will improve our relationships.

Thanks for stopping by. Keep remembering what’s important.

Theresa


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Join the Discussion: How has seeing other viewpoints helped you? 

The benefits of seeing other viewpoints is numerous to us and those around us. Seeing other perspectives makes us better people and will improve our relationships.

May link up at Kelly Balarie (#purposeful faitht), Crystal Storms (#HeartEncouragement), Maree Dee (#Grace & Truth), Anita Ojeda (#inspirememonday), and Mary Geison (#tellhisstory).

 

The benefits of seeing other viewpoints is numerous to us and those around us. Seeing other perspectives makes us better people and will improve our relationships.

Why We Want to Be There for Others

I am about to slide into bed, when I hear my son wandering the house.

The clock says he should have been asleep awhile ago.

I find him in the living room.

“I can’t get to sleep,” he moans. “I have been trying to for an hour and a half.”

“Did you try and lie still? Quiet your mind? Relax with . . .?”

“I’ve tried everything,” he moans.

I inwardly groan. I am tired myself. I know I would be asleep the moment my head sinks into the pillow, but . . . life calls.

“Come on,” I say, “I’ll help you.”

I follow his lanky body, taller than me now, back into his bedroom. I tuck him back into bed and sit on the edge of his bed, my hand resting on his leg.

“Breathe slowly,” I say, trying to calm my voice to soothing. “Release the stress with each exhale. Feel your body sink into your mattress.”

I drone on. My voice becoming a little softer. A little quieter.

His breath become longer. Slower. His body begins to let go.

Slowly I raise my hand until it is hovering in the air barely above his body. I used to do this when he was an infant. Ever so slowly raise my hand off his body and then hover it there to make sure he didn’t stir awake.

He remains asleep. I tiptoe out of the room. Mission accomplished.

As my head sinks into my pillow, I instantly relax.

Alt text: Being there for others feels good. Learn why we want to be there for others. And what would happen if we were not needed.Alt text: Being there for others feels good. Learn why we want to be there for others. And what would happen if we were not needed.Alt text: Being there for others feels good. Learn why we want to be there for others. And what would happen if we were not needed.Alt text: Being there for others feels good. Learn why we want to be there for others. And what would happen if we were not needed.We like being needed and being there for others.

 

I know you are like me. You want to help those around you. Love them well. Solve their problems.

Often it is not convenient. But you do it. Because you are concerned about the small and large stuff that concerns those we love.

You see your daughter’s sad face and ask her what’s wrong.

Your son asks you to tie his shoes, and you do.

You dog seems lethargic, and you wonder what is wrong.

You are in the middle of making dinner and your sister needs to talk. You pause to be there for her.

Your husband needs a favor, and you come through for him.

A friend loses a parent, and you hug her and take her dinner.

Your child has a hard time falling asleep, and you talk him to sleep. Or hum him into dream land.

All these things communicate you love them. Are concerned about them and their life. Care about them and their life direction.

Big and small, you want to be there for them. And what you do for them is important.

You encourage them. Cheer them on. Listen. Hand out advice. Squeeze hugs on their bodies.

You want to be involved in their lives. Know their problems. Be asked to help.

Yes, we sometimes get tired of being there. Of helping. Of sacrificing to do the right thing. Of caring so much. Of trying to solve problems and find solutions.

The last thing I wanted to do the night I found my son wandering around sleepless in our house, was help him. I was tired myself. Craving the covers over my tired body. But then as I am helping him, soothing him to sleep, I felt honored to be asked. Trusted to help. And that was a good feeling.

Let’s think about the opposite?

Alt text: Being there for others feels good. Learn why we want to be there for others. And what would happen if we were not needed.Alt text: Being there for others feels good. Learn why we want to be there for others. And what would happen if we were not needed.What if we were not needed?

 

Imagine if those we loved did not include us? Involve us?

Your husband tells us that he lost his job three months ago, but no worries, he has since found a new one. Sure, it was a stressful time and a lot of worry, but that is now past. He did not want to worry you.

Your son tells you that he asked someone else to teach him to tie his shoes because he didn’t want to bother you.

Your daughter tells her that she lost the spelling competition at school. She was sad for a while, but a friend helped her with her sadness. She knew you had other more pressing problems to deal with.

Your pet visits the neighbor’s when sick, so you don’t expend extra energy on them.

Your neighbor doesn’t tell you that her mother died until a year later. This way she can say she is past the grieving stage and doesn’t need to hamper your schedule.

Your sister lets you know she had a problem, but only after she has thought of a solution. Better yet, even implemented the solution and found success. She knew you were busy and wanted to conserve your energy for more important things.

Would we want to find out that those around us didn’t need our help? Our encouragement. Our listening ear and love? Our problem-solving abilities?

Our soothing voice to put them to sleep?

Alt text: Being there for others feels good. Learn why we want to be there for others. And what would happen if we were not needed.Alt text: Being there for others feels good. Learn why we want to be there for others. And what would happen if we were not needed.We were made to be there for others, by someone who is there for us.

 

We want to be needed. To be called on. To be informed and kept in the loop.

We don’t want to know after the fact.

Yet sometimes we do this to God.

We think he is to busy to be concerned with our life. Our situation. Our problems.

We think he has more important things to do, than listen to us. Or help us.

And yet, he wants to concern himself with us. To keep those lines of communication open between us. To know what is going on in our life and heart.

As a friend, parent, sibling, and co-worker we want to be needed. To be involved.

We were made in God’s image. And just like him, we want to help. Be needed. Solve problems. Come along side.

God, as our heavenly father, doesn’t want us solving the problem, getting over our hurt, and getting support elsewhere and then coming to him whole and unneedy. No, just like we delight in helping those around us, he delights in helping us.

And unlike us, he never runs out of energy, solutions, patience, love, and all those other things. We can only help so much, but he can help forever.

Remember:

1. No concern, problem, issue, hurt, worry, triumph, blessing, or thought is to little or big to share with him.

2. He cares about us more than we can imagine. His heart breaks for us and explodes in pride for us.

3. He is besides us every step of the way, just waiting for us to put our hand in his. Waiting for us to include him in our life.

4. He is not intimidated by our messes, and ultimately uses them to our advantage and his glory.

5. He sees us and what we are becoming. He knows us better than we know our self and nothing we do or say surprises him.

6. He wants only the best for; works all things ultimately for our good.

So, share the good, bad, and ugly with him. Trust him. Make him your best friend. Keep him in the loop.

And next time you can’t sleep, ask him to talk you to sleep. Because he will.

Alt text: Being there for others feels good. Learn why we want to be there for others. And what would happen if we were not needed.

Thanks for stopping by. Keep remembering what’s important.

Theresa

 


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Join the discussion: Tell about a time you were there for someone or they were there for you.

Alt text: Being there for others feels good. Learn why we want to be there for others. And what would happen if we were not needed.May link up at Holley Gerth (#coffeeforyourheart), Lori Schumaker (#Moments of Hope), Crystal Storms (#HeartEncouragement), Arabah Joy (#Grace & Truth).

Alt text: Being there for others feels good. Learn why we want to be there for others. And what would happen if we were not needed.Being there for others feels good. Learn why we want to be there for others. And what would happen if we were not needed. #relationships #kindness to others

Building a Strong Moral Compass for Your Kids and Their New School Year

School is starting again.

Calendars will be necessary to keep up with everyone’s schedules. Because things are going to get hectic for our children and us.

We want to influence our children. Shape and guide them to their best selves. But sometimes the school year is so hectic that our good intentions fall to the bottom of the to-do list, and even get crossed off.

This doesn’t need to happen. With a little strategizing and planning we can be a positive influence and moral compass for our children. We can help them counter and question the negative influences that they confront them at school, from their peers, and from society.

5 ways parents can build a strong moral compass for kids. If we want to shape and influence our children, we need to focus on our relationship with them. 5 ways parents can build a strong moral compass for kids. If we want to shape and influence our children, we need to focus on our relationship with them.

We can’t build a strong moral compass for kids unless we have a relationship with them.

 

Children, whether they are verbally telling us parents or not, really do want us in their lives. They want to hear our opinions, want to be a part of the family, and want to know they are loved and matter.

Which means, they want a relationship with us. A genuine relationship that is safe, strong, and will always be there no matter what.

A relationship takes time and commitment. We need to commit to developing and continuing this relationship with our children, despite the busy school year.

 

5 ways to build and strengthen your relationship with your children:

 

1. Spend family time together. Relationships require time together. Children learn so much from us, but it’s easy to get caught up in daily life and forget to allocate additional time to spend together as a family. Eat dinner together. Do chores with them, like raking leaves or cooking together. Schedule weekend excursions. Have a board game night. Watch movies together. Attend a local high-school football game. Hike the local trails. Help your children feel part of the family by doing activities together.

2. Build in time for faithful activities. We want our children to have a relationship not only with us and the family, but also with their creator. Read the bible aloud. Pray with and for them. Take them to youth group. Discuss God and his love for them. Strive to make your faith a normal and natural part of our life.  

Help your children get into a routine with scripture and prayer. Daily devotions are a great habit to develop with your kids. Don’t know where to start? Download devotional apps to your own phone and their phones so they have easy access to God’s word. My teen son and I like to read the daily verse aloud to each other and discuss it.

3. Volunteer. Helping others and serving in different situations takes our children out of them self and helps them see different perspectives. It also builds compassion and empathy. Two necessary ingredients we all need. Encourage your children to do some community service; help with a sports activity, church event, or school event; feed the homeless; or participate in a charity effort. Volunteering can be done individually, as a family, or just you and your child.

4. Reward good behavior. When your children show exemplary behavior, make the right decisions, and say and do things that fill you with pride, communicate it to them and let them know their behavior is recognized. Don’t just say, “You’re a good boy.” Get specific. Say, “I was proud of you when you encouraged your team mate to not give up. You were showing compassion and empathy to him.”

5. Pursue your children. Even when they push you away. God doesn’t let us push him away; he keeps coming after us. Over and again.

Pursue them by developing an interest in their life, hobbies, and activities, even when they don’t interest you. Always be there for them. Initiate the conversation. I have had some of the best conversations with my kids on walks, before bed, in the kitchen, and in the car. Pray for them. Ask their opinions of anything you can think of. They often enjoy telling us what they think if we take time to listen to them and consider their opinions.

We can be a bigger influence on our children than we think.

It requires time and commitment.

But you got this. You can do this.

Focus on the relationship.

It’s the most important thing between you and your children.

5 ways parents can build a strong moral compass for kids. If we want to shape and influence them, we need to focus on the relationship.

Thanks for stopping by. Keep remembering what’s important.

Theresa

 

P.S. One of my favorite women’s devotionals, and available in an app, is She Reads Truth.


If you need some weekly encouragement and hope, tied up with some humor? Subscribe and join the journey. Life is sweeter when we walk alongside one another.


Join the Discussion: What helps you build a strong relationship with your children?

5 ways parents can build a strong moral compass for kids. If we want to shape and influence them, we need to focus on the relationship. May link up at Holley Gerth (#coffeeforyourheart), Lori Schumaker (#Moments of Hope), Crystal Storms (#HeartEncouragement), Arabah Joy (#Grace & Truth).

5 ways parents can build a strong moral compass for kids. If we want to shape and influence them, we need to focus on the relationship. 5 ways parents can build a strong moral compass for kids. If we want to shape and influence them, we need to focus on the relationship.