We often know ourselves. But how well do we know our mates? Here are 9 ways that knowing your husband impacts him for good.
We often know ourselves. But how well do we know our mates?
I wish I had understood and really learned about him earlier in our marriage. It would have saved us some frustration.
We are opposites. About as similar as Pluto and the sun. We differ in just about everything, except we both like the same furniture styles, traveling and walking. However even then, we must bend. I walk at his speed, and he adds museums to the travel list.
Compromise, understanding and accepting the other person as God designed them has been a thread woven through our marriage.
Differences are not bad. They make us who we are and can be strengths.
Learning more about our husbands, allows us to better love them, encourage them and impact them in positive ways. This knowledge helps us be like the women in Proverbs 31:12, ” She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.” (ESV)
9 things to ponder about your husband:
1. Think about his strengths. This helps you compliment and praise him. Divvy up chores. And adjust your expectations of him.
Turns out my husband cannot multitask. Expecting him to take care of a toddler and also clean a kitchen is asking too much. But ask him to fix something, and it will be done correctly.
2. Figure out his decision style and what helps him accomplish things. Some people wing things, others research and some go by their intuition. Some need accountability. Others are self-motivated. Some need permission or praise. Some talk and talk, others just quietly start.
To read the rest of the 7 points, head over to A Wife Like Me where I am visiting today.
Remember that you are loved more than you can imagine,
Theresa
Join the discussion: What would you add to the list?
May link up at Maree Dee (#Grace & Truth), Anita Ojeda (#inspirememonday), InstaEncouagements ((IE Link-Up), and Jeanne Takenaka (#tellhisstory).
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You have a great list. I would add, show respect. My husband wants my respect and trust–and to get there we need good communication.
BTW the white crocuses are lovely!
Carol, yes respect and being motivated by love for each other is so important. Two backbones that are the impetus to get to know our husbands better and do them good.
Theresa,
I had to chuckle when I got to “Observing how your husband communicates and listens.” My husband, much like yours, likes concise to-the-point discussions whereas, I take the circuitous path to get to my point. Learning how not to frustrate our spouse is key when we want to impact them for good. All great points to keep in mind.
Blessings,
Bev xx
Yes Bev, trying not to frustrate our mate is key for our relationship with them. And sometimes what they do (like wanting to hear the bottom line first) frustrates us, and what we do (taking the circuitous path) frustrates them. And so, we learn to compromise. On not so important stories I take the circuitous path. But on more serious ones that have him wondering all sorts of worst-case scenarios, its best to state the bottom line and work backwards.
I thought I already commented on this but apparently I forgot to post.
Since August I have made a concerted effort to pray for my husband and our marriage every morning. I have used a variety of devotionals and methods. My current read is The Power of the Praying Wife Devotional
I can see a change in both of us. God is so GOOD!
Barb, that is so wonderful. When we choose to invest time and energy in our marriages, so much good can come from it. Especially praying for our husbands. I like books like that because they give so many good ideas I would not think of.
Great insights, Theresa! You and your husband have some great common ground, “We both like the same furniture styles, traveling and walking.” This is a great way to articulate consideration of one another, “We must bend. I walk at his speed, and he adds museums to the travel list.” We’re the same, I slow down and walk at his pace, and he adds gardens and museums to our itinerary.
I think learning the DISC test and each other’s love language – early on in our marriage helped us learn more about each other and to walk in, “Compromise, understanding and accepting the other person as God designed.” This makes a huge difference!
Lisa, I wish I knew a fraction of what I know now, when I got married. Like about different personalities and love languages. But it is all part of learning and growing. And we can teach our children and they will be farther along and better prepared for marriage then we were. That’s the goal and how we can positively impact future generations for good.
It’s a great list! It took me over 30 years to figure out my husband needs me to repeat back to him what I think I hear him saying. This doesn’t mean I haven’t been a good listener for 33 years, it just means if he doesn’t hear me summarize it, he doesn’t think I heard (I thought it was obvious I heard since I was right there in the room 😉 ).
This had me laughing so hard. Partly because my husband is the same way with important facts. I need to repeat them. All 29 points or he says I didn’t hear him because I fail to repeat 2.
Such a great list, Theresa. Even though Jeff and I have been married almost 30 years now, I’m still learning things about him (and him about me) because we continue to evolve. May we always be students of each other for the health of our relationships!
I’ll be featuring your post this week at the Grace and Truth linkup at my blog this Friday.
Yes, may we always be students of each other. It is still fun to learn about each other. Even after all these years. It does keep the relationship healthy and helps us keep evolving and changing as individuals and as a couple.
Delighted to be featured.
Theresa, hi! We celebrated 46 years by planting a little wildflower garden this afternoon. It was fun to do something together, especially because our interests are so different. I hope it will be a symbol of love that will bring a smile when we look at it … and not simply fodder for hungry rabbits, deer, or turkey!
Had to smile at the “fodder for hungry rabbits, deer, and turkey.” Hubby and I joke that the deer come to our yard sometimes for dessert (my flowers). I keep trying to buy deer proof flowers. Sometimes I succeed, and other times the deer let me know they had dessert again in my front yard. Hopefully your wildflower garden gives the deer and other critters an upset stomach if they come in for a bite.
It is fun to find something to do together. And yay for 46 years!! What a testimony to others.
Theresa, in my opinion I think having God, religion and your church as your foundation for your family and relationship with your wife is really important. There are so many teachings in His word that give me guidance on how I should lead the family and I can’t imagine how non-Christian families survive or even last without divorce without having God in their lives. God bless you for this article!