Empathy is seeing something from the other person’s perspective without judgement. It is feeling what the person is feeling. It helps us be seen and understood.
Empathy works because you are putting yourself in the other person’s shoes and seeing it from their viewpoint, without judgement. Noticing their emotions and feeling with people. By asking questions and listening to the person, often we can give new insight and a new perspective to the event/words/situation. One the shamed person has probably never thought of. One that is more accurate than the lie or story the shamed person believed.
Empathy heals shame by saying: You didn’t deserve to be treated that way, no one does (that was wrong, dysfunctional, hurtful). I am sorry that you were treated that way.
Empathy and talking about the shameful experience helps the person see the incident in a new and different way. It expands their mind and helps them see new truth. Ultimately it topples lies and lets truth in.
Short Video on empathy by Brene Brown.
Article on empathy, what it is and why it matters.
