How to Love Unconditionally: 11 Tips for Loving Yourself and Others

Unconditional love is not dependent on anything we do or don’t do. It loves us no matter what. In all circumstances and in all possibilities. It is a love that does not grow when we are good or evaporate when we displease.  It is a faithful and constant love.

This kind of love is not easy.

It is based upon a choice. Not a feeling.

When unconditionally loved, people flourish. Have freedom to be themselves. To be vulnerable. To admit their mistakes without fear.  And it gives them the desire to grow into better people.

So how can we love those around us unconditionally? As well as love our self unconditionally?

Discover 11 traits of unconditional love. Learn how to love unconditionally, both yourself and others, so that you and others can thrive in relationships.Discover 11 traits of unconditional love. Learn how to love unconditionally, both yourself and others, so that you and others can thrive in relationships.Discover 11 traits of unconditional love. Learn how to love unconditionally, both yourself and others, so that you and others can thrive in relationships.Discover 11 traits of unconditional love. Learn how to love unconditionally, both yourself and others, so that you and others can thrive in relationships.How to Love Unconditionally:

 

1. Be compassionate. Unconditional love remembers we are all flawed humans. Prone to mistakes and sinful. And because it remembers this, it is not so surprised that we have good and bad days. Good and bad traits. It doesn’t make excuses for the bad and ugly it sees in those it loves, but it has compassion for them.

2. Be patient. Unconditional love realizes that life is a journey. It knows no one has yet arrived. Nor does it expect others to have it all together. It will sit and cry with you and then encourage you to do better. It will do this over and over again, because unconditional love is patient and doesn’t demand others to be on its own time table.

3. Desire the best. Unconditional love always desires the best for the other person and it works to bring this about. It will sit for hours talking with the person to help them sort their feelings and thoughts. It listens more than it gives advice. It asks questions and helps the other person see new things, develop new ways of thinking. It sees more viewpoints than its own and is open to what is best for the person. It doesn’t act as the authority of their life and lecture or demand. It speaks the truth with kindness. The relationship is always cultivated and more important than actions and outcomes.

Discover 11 traits of unconditional love. Learn how to love unconditionally, both yourself and others, so that you and others can thrive in relationships.4. Encourage and celebrate. Unconditional love encourages, instead of competing. It celebrates small steps and victories, knowing that the big ones are few and far between (as well as a combination of many small steps). It has an attitude of “you can do it,” and “I am on your side.”

5. Doesn’t expect perfection. Unconditional love knows that perfection does not exist in any area of this life and does not expect others to demonstrate or attain perfection. It does not point out the flaws and failings first, but notices what is working and what is done well. It does not give false praise but manages to find something to be thankful for in every situation or circumstance.

6. Sees the potential. Unconditional love sees the potential in others and helps the person see their own potential too. Not that it doesn’t also see the here and now; it does. It sees the person’s flaws, but it also sees the potential and works unselfishly for the person to reach their potential.

7. Forgives easily. Unconditional love forgives easily and when asked. It doesn’t keep a tally of wrongs or bring up the past to shame or blame. It realizes we all need forgiveness and works hard not to dwell on the past. It does not extract payment for wrongs, nor does it forgive only when it has decided that someone has repented enough or is sorry enough. Unconditional love does not expect forgiveness to be earned but gives it freely as a gift.

8. Studies a person. Unconditional love wants to get to know the other person — how they tick, what motivates them, their love language, their personality, and anything else they can about the person. Because by better knowing the other person, they will understand them, be better able to motivate them, communicate with them, and ultimately love them.

Discover 11 traits of unconditional love. Learn how to love unconditionally, both yourself and others, so that you and others can thrive in relationships.Discover 11 traits of unconditional love. Learn how to love unconditionally, both yourself and others, so that you and others can thrive in relationships.9. Leads by example.  Unconditional love never expects or demands that others do something they are not willing to do them self. Their loudest preaching is by example. Unconditional love also knows that others are responsible for themselves and it does not take accountability for others who are not their responsibility.

10. Doesn’t mislabel. Unconditional love labels the behavior or action as bad, not the person as bad. It sees the difference and knows that a bad action is just a bad action. It knows that what a person chooses to do does not make that person unlovable.

11. Sets boundaries. Unconditional love knows what healthy boundaries are for itself and does not let others take advantage of them. Likewise, it knows how and when to practice tough love for the benefit of the other person.

Unconditional love is not easy.

It requires making hard choices.

But we can grow in the traits of unconditional love.

It requires laying aside our selfishness and often our first response that is wanting to pop out of our mouth.

Ultimately, unconditional love looks at how God treats us and models that behavior to others and our self.

Discover 11 traits of unconditional love. Learn how to love unconditionally, both yourself and others, so that you and others can thrive in relationships.

Thanks for stopping by. Keep remembering what’s important.

Theresa

 


If you need some weekly encouragement and hope, tied up with some humor? Subscribe and join the journey. Life is sweeter when we walk alongside one another.


Join the Discussion: What other traits does unconditional love exhibit?

Discover 11 traits of unconditional love. Learn how to love unconditionally, both yourself and others, so that you and others can thrive in relationships.May link up at Holley Gerth (#coffeeforyourheart), Lori Schumaker (#Moments of Hope), Crystal Storms (#HeartEncouragement), Arabah Joy (#Grace & Truth), Maree Dee (#Grace & Truth).

Discover 11 traits of unconditional love. Learn how to love unconditionally, both yourself and others, so that you and others can thrive in relationships.Discover 11 traits of unconditional love. Learn how to love unconditionally, both yourself and others, so that you and others can thrive in relationships.Discover 11 traits of unconditional love. Learn how to love unconditionally, both yourself and others, so that you and others can thrive in relationships.

Building a Strong Moral Compass for Your Kids and Their New School Year

School is starting again.

Calendars will be necessary to keep up with everyone’s schedules. Because things are going to get hectic for our children and us.

We want to influence our children. Shape and guide them to their best selves. But sometimes the school year is so hectic that our good intentions fall to the bottom of the to-do list, and even get crossed off.

This doesn’t need to happen. With a little strategizing and planning we can be a positive influence and moral compass for our children. We can help them counter and question the negative influences that they confront them at school, from their peers, and from society.

5 ways parents can build a strong moral compass for kids. If we want to shape and influence our children, we need to focus on our relationship with them. 5 ways parents can build a strong moral compass for kids. If we want to shape and influence our children, we need to focus on our relationship with them.

We can’t build a strong moral compass for kids unless we have a relationship with them.

 

Children, whether they are verbally telling us parents or not, really do want us in their lives. They want to hear our opinions, want to be a part of the family, and want to know they are loved and matter.

Which means, they want a relationship with us. A genuine relationship that is safe, strong, and will always be there no matter what.

A relationship takes time and commitment. We need to commit to developing and continuing this relationship with our children, despite the busy school year.

 

5 ways to build and strengthen your relationship with your children:

 

1. Spend family time together. Relationships require time together. Children learn so much from us, but it’s easy to get caught up in daily life and forget to allocate additional time to spend together as a family. Eat dinner together. Do chores with them, like raking leaves or cooking together. Schedule weekend excursions. Have a board game night. Watch movies together. Attend a local high-school football game. Hike the local trails. Help your children feel part of the family by doing activities together.

2. Build in time for faithful activities. We want our children to have a relationship not only with us and the family, but also with their creator. Read the bible aloud. Pray with and for them. Take them to youth group. Discuss God and his love for them. Strive to make your faith a normal and natural part of our life.  

Help your children get into a routine with scripture and prayer. Daily devotions are a great habit to develop with your kids. Don’t know where to start? Download devotional apps to your own phone and their phones so they have easy access to God’s word. My teen son and I like to read the daily verse aloud to each other and discuss it.

3. Volunteer. Helping others and serving in different situations takes our children out of them self and helps them see different perspectives. It also builds compassion and empathy. Two necessary ingredients we all need. Encourage your children to do some community service; help with a sports activity, church event, or school event; feed the homeless; or participate in a charity effort. Volunteering can be done individually, as a family, or just you and your child.

4. Reward good behavior. When your children show exemplary behavior, make the right decisions, and say and do things that fill you with pride, communicate it to them and let them know their behavior is recognized. Don’t just say, “You’re a good boy.” Get specific. Say, “I was proud of you when you encouraged your team mate to not give up. You were showing compassion and empathy to him.”

5. Pursue your children. Even when they push you away. God doesn’t let us push him away; he keeps coming after us. Over and again.

Pursue them by developing an interest in their life, hobbies, and activities, even when they don’t interest you. Always be there for them. Initiate the conversation. I have had some of the best conversations with my kids on walks, before bed, in the kitchen, and in the car. Pray for them. Ask their opinions of anything you can think of. They often enjoy telling us what they think if we take time to listen to them and consider their opinions.

We can be a bigger influence on our children than we think.

It requires time and commitment.

But you got this. You can do this.

Focus on the relationship.

It’s the most important thing between you and your children.

5 ways parents can build a strong moral compass for kids. If we want to shape and influence them, we need to focus on the relationship.

Thanks for stopping by. Keep remembering what’s important.

Theresa

 

P.S. One of my favorite women’s devotionals, and available in an app, is She Reads Truth.


If you need some weekly encouragement and hope, tied up with some humor? Subscribe and join the journey. Life is sweeter when we walk alongside one another.


Join the Discussion: What helps you build a strong relationship with your children?

5 ways parents can build a strong moral compass for kids. If we want to shape and influence them, we need to focus on the relationship. May link up at Holley Gerth (#coffeeforyourheart), Lori Schumaker (#Moments of Hope), Crystal Storms (#HeartEncouragement), Arabah Joy (#Grace & Truth).

5 ways parents can build a strong moral compass for kids. If we want to shape and influence them, we need to focus on the relationship. 5 ways parents can build a strong moral compass for kids. If we want to shape and influence them, we need to focus on the relationship.

Stay at Home Moms are Working Moms


Stay at home moms are often more valuable and necessary than they think they are. Working Women. That seems obvious, doesn’t it?

Yet how many women count themselves as a working woman?

Especially if they are not employed by a company and earning a take-home-and-bank paycheck?

They are in the dentist filling out address lines and checking boxes to indicate they have no life- threatening health problem and that they haven’t had a recent mental breakdown. They then come across the question – employment.

They pause and wonder what to write.

They may decide to leave it blank and instead check that they haven’t passed a kidney stone in the last year.

And yet, I know countless working women. 

Who is cleaning the house? Making dinner? Filling out permission sheets and checking that homework is completed? Who is washing clothes and taking a sick dog to the vet? Who is volunteering at the library, the food bank, and leading a girl scout troop? Who is making a meal for the new mother at church, inviting neighbors to dinner, and leading a bible study? Who is coordinating their parent’s health care and hosting family dinners?

This is all work. Necessary and important work.

The world would collapse without mothers reminding their children to eat their vegetables, brush their teeth, and tie their shoes; if women quit reminding their mates to take their vitamins, send their mom a birthday card, and oh yes, Tuesday is trash day; or if women quit volunteering their evenings and not-so-spare hours, countless volunteer organizations and projects would fold up and close.

You may not receive a paycheck every month, paid vacations, job evaluations (unless you count such comments as, “this has too much salt,” as mini job evaluations), sick days, pre-set work breaks, and the most important kicker of all – a start and stop time, but that doesn’t mean you don’t do valuable necessary work that is as important as other work.

I am writing for The Better Mom this week. Please continue reading at The Better Mom for the rest of the article.

Stay at home moms are often more valuable and necessary than they give themselves credit for. May link up at Jennifer Dukes Lee (#tellhisstory);  Holley Gerth (#coffeeforyourheart), Lori Schumaker (#Moments of Hope), Crystal Storms (#HeartEncouragement), Arabah Joy (#Grace & Truth).

Thanks for stopping by. Keep remembering what’s important.

Theresa

 


If you need some weekly encouragement and hope, tied up with some humor? Subscribe and join the journey. Life is sweeter when we walk alongside one another.


Join the discussion: How do you undermine your worth as a mom or woman?

Stay at home moms are often more valuable and necessary than they think they are.