When does shame speak to us?

Often is follows us all day as a quiet nagging voice. It tells us we look horrible when we wake up and look in the mirror. It reminds us we still haven’t lost that extra weight as we get ready in the morning. It whispers that we are a bad mother when we yell at the kids at the breakfast table. It tells us we will never get the job we want in the office meeting. And when our husband asks if we washed his workout clothes so he can go jogging, it reminds us we are a failure. It is often a nagging judgmental, accusing, and critical voice that steals our joy and reminds us how we are failing. It is a voice that tells us we are not enough and makes everything our responsibility and our fault. After dinner we ask our children to pick up their toys. Feeling like a failure ourselves, and not wanting them to end up with our faults, we turn this critical voice on them and manage to shame them for not being proficient at picking up their toys.