Shame is a liar. It never tells the truth. And then these lies pop up in our soul and become a part of us and our identity and we carry them around for years, until we address them.
Some common lies that shame weaves into our identity: >You are not good enough. >You don’t deserve more. >You don’t have a seat here. Something is wrong with you and it is your fault. > You are the problem. >You deserve to be treated that way. > Asking for what you want is selfish. > Why do you even try? >You’re worthless. > The truth will leave you friendless. > You are a bad person. > You are defective. Unlovable. > It tells us there is no cure. To try harder. Hide more. >Be something different. Wear masks. Keep secrets.
Shame has no love or grace. It doesn’t allow us to change or grow or overcome our past. It tears us down. It doesn’t present a solution. It convinces us to believe lies about our self.
Go deeper, read There is No Shame in Feeling Shame, post 2 and Shame: Recognize It, Heal From It, Walk in Freedom, post 10.