Stop Being Embarrassed About Your Superpower, Ladies, and Instead Embrace It

Girls and women of all ages have the mothering instinct, To protect, nurture, and sacrifice for things outside them self. Children, animals, injustice, the week. Embrace it and use it for the good of others. #mothering #kindness to others #making the world better #mother's dayGirls and women of all ages have the mothering instinct, To protect, nurture, and sacrifice for things outside them self. Children, animals, injustice, the week. Embrace it and use it for the good of others. #mothering #kindness to others #making the world better #mother's day
You see it in young girls.

 

A little girl is holding her baby doll to her chest and talking to it. Something distracts her and off she wanders. Soon she notices her brother tossing her baby off the picnic bench where she had so carefully placed her. It seems her brother wants the doll’s seat. Indignation rises in the small girl and she marches over to her older brother and starts demanding he treat her baby nicely. Doesn’t he know he has hurt her baby?

“She’s not even real,” he mutters.

“She is too!” the indignant little mother shouts, pulling the baby close. “And you hurt her by tossing her on her head.”

“Fat chance. She is plastic,” he says. “I could kick her all the way across the field like a ball and I wouldn’t hurt your silly old doll.”

The girl’s eyes widen in horror just imagining her brother’s remark and the cruelty he could inflict. “She is real, and you would hurt her,” she frowns, her eyes filled with tears. “And if you did that I would . . . I would . . .,” she pauses, trying to think of the worst punishment she could inflict on her older and meaner brother. “I would kick you down the field.”

Not wanting to hear anything more from her brother, and to provide some finality to her pronouncement, which she is not sure she could really do, she turns and flounces off. Her baby is safely protected in her arms.

The boy sniffs and starts reaching for the crackers and cheese. He thinks his sister is overly dramatic and a bit crazy. That doll is no more real than a rock. And rocks are for throwing.

Girls and women of all ages have the mothering instinct, To protect, nurture, and sacrifice for things outside them self. Children, animals, injustice, the week. Embrace it and use it for the good of others. #mothering #kindness to others #making the world better #mother's dayGirls and women of all ages have the mothering instinct, To protect, nurture, and sacrifice for things outside them self. Children, animals, injustice, the week. Embrace it and use it for the good of others. #mothering #kindness to others #making the world better #mother's day

You see it in grown women.

 

“You really think that is a wise thing to do,” a 30 something lady questions her brother about buying a motorcycle. “When are you ever going to grow up and quit acting like a little kid?”

 

You see it in old women.

 

My pre-teen son and two neighbor boys are outside playing basketball in the chilly winter wind. Two are in short sleeves tee-shirts, the other in a long sleeve tee-shirt. My 90-year-old neighbor sees them and asks them where their coats are. She tells them to get their coats and put them on. They shrug and keep playing.

Several male neighbors have seen them and have not sent the boys inside for their coats. Only the female neighbor is concerned. So concerned, she asks my husband, who is also outside, why the boys are not wearing their coats.

You see it in women of all ages. This nurturing, protecting, preserving, sacrificing, mothering instinct.

Girls and women of all ages have the mothering instinct, To protect, nurture, and sacrifice for things outside them self. Children, animals, injustice, the week. Embrace it and use it for the good of others. #mothering #kindness to others #making the world better #mother's dayGirls and women of all ages have the mothering instinct, To protect, nurture, and sacrifice for things outside them self. Children, animals, injustice, the week. Embrace it and use it for the good of others. #mothering #kindness to others #making the world better #mother's day

This instinct to:

 

Care for the weak and helpless.

Sacrifice for the overlooked.

Protect the weaker and smaller ones.

Nurture and provide for things that need it.

Fight to right the wrongs of injustice.

This mother instinct is something we women are born with. It is wrapped into our DNA and it comes out in various and numerous ways.

We pull up the zipper of a small child whose coat is not zipped.

We offer our sandwiches to the hungry at the park.

We rescue mistreated animals.

We lecture others on justice and fairness and then start an organization to help those in need.

We shut down the bully who is picking on someone weaker, younger, and different.

We rush outside to rescue the bird who has just flown into our sliding glass door. And then we cry when it dies.

We coddle dying plants back to life.

We become a teacher to make a difference in the lives of others.

We become like mother bears and wolverines when our children or loved ones are in danger, need help, or are being mistreated.

We nag and lecture our spouses, brothers, neighbors, and co-workers when their actions are deemed insensitive or wrong.

We grieve with those weeping.

Girls and women of all ages have the mothering instinct, To protect, nurture, and sacrifice for things outside them self. Children, animals, injustice, the week. Embrace it and use it for the good of others. #mothering #kindness to others #making the world better #mother's dayWe take dinner to those suffering a loss of a loved one or the joy or a new baby.

We start companies and become attorneys and doctors to change things and help others.

We run for office and make legislation to make the world a better place.

Like a mother hen gathering her chicks to safety, we care for and try to protect those around us.

This mothering instinct is in our blood. Our habits. Our mannerisms.

It is a part of us.

It is a superpower. 

You may not be a mother in the traditional sense, but in a way, we are all mothering animals, organizations, children, or people around us.

Use your mothering skills for good. Help the weak and needy. Sacrifice for the necessary. Nurture and protect those who need it.

Mother’s Day is around the corner. Let it be a reminder of that wonderful and awesome mothering spirit that resides in you. Celebrate it. Embrace it. Use it and share it with others.

Thanks for stopping by. Keep remembering what’s important.

Theresa


Having trouble enjoying life? Reconciling your current reality with how you wish life really was? Get a free PDF with 12 tips to help you enjoy your life right now. Subscribe and join the journey. You will also receive weekly encouragement and hope tied up with some humor. Because life is sweeter when we walk alongside one another.


Join the Discussion: What are some ways you use your mothering spirit and instinct?

Girls and women of all ages have the mothering instinct, To protect, nurture, and sacrifice for things outside them self. Children, animals, injustice, the week. Embrace it and use it for the good of others. #mothering #kindness to others #making the world better #mother's day

May link up at Kelly Balarie (#purposeful faitht), Crystal Storms (#HeartEncouragement), Maree Dee (#Grace & Truth), Anita Ojeda (#inspirememonday), and Mary Geison (#tellhisstory).

Girls and women of all ages have the mothering instinct, To protect, nurture, and sacrifice for things outside them self. Children, animals, injustice, the week. Embrace it and use it for the good of others. #mothering #kindness to others #making the world better #mother's day

 

Why Seeing Another Viewpoint Benefits You and Others

We are drawn to people who understand us.

Who can peek into our world.

We sense they know us.

We feel seen and heard. Connected with them.

We tell them a sad story and they sympathize.

They ask questions. Wanting to better understand.

We tell them our dreams and they don’t laugh. Our hurts, and they don’t recoil, but instead offer bandages and encouragement. We give them a glimpse of our true self we usually hide, and they don’t judge.

What do these people have that draws us to them? They have the ability to get out of themselves and see another point of view. One different than their own.

The benefits of seeing other viewpoints is numerous to us and those around us. Seeing other perspectives makes us better people and will improve our relationships.The benefits of seeing other viewpoints is numerous to us and those around us. Seeing other perspectives makes us better people and will improve our relationships.

 

Interacting with people lacking this characteristic.

 

I think we all know someone who lacks this characteristic. To see a different view point than their own.

We tell them our dream, and because it isn’t what they would do, our dream is shot down by them.

We share our feelings, and they belittle them. Maybe question therm. Tell us we are wrong to feel that way.

We try and talk about our self, and they shift the conversation back to be about them.

They work hard to win an argument, because they can only see their side, and of course it is right (to them).

We tell them something sad, like our dad died, they say they are sorry, and then march right on with their agenda.

It seems impossible for them to mourn with us or rejoice with us.

All conversation keeps coming back to them.

We don’t feel listened to, encouraged, understood, or hardly acknowledged when we leave their presence.

The benefits of seeing other viewpoints is numerous to us and those around us. Seeing other perspectives makes us better people and will improve our relationships.

 

What is wrong?

 

What is different about these two people?

What makes us thrive and bloom in the presence of one, and shrink and feel neglected and unseen in the presence of the other?

One can step out of themselves and see another point of view than their own. The other can’t (or rarely does). They cannot (or refuse to) see and acknowledge another viewpoint than their own.

We may call them self-centered. Self-absorbed. Extremely selfish. And even a narcissist.

But one trait they all share is they all lack the desire or ability to see different perspectives. To put themselves in another person’s place. To look at something from another point of view.

They see and acknowledge only their point of view. Their perspective. Their ideas, opinions, and arguments. And unless you need them to remind you again, only their opinions, ideas, argument, feelings, and point-of view is correct. Well according to them. And they are quick to tell you that yours is wrong when it disagrees or differs with theirs.

The benefits of seeing other viewpoints is numerous to us and those around us. Seeing other perspectives makes us better people and will improve our relationships.

So why does this matter?

 

We as humans are able to have empathy, compassion and sympathize with others only if we can see (this doesn’t mean agree with) or understand to some extent the other person’s point of view.

Maybe we have a friend who gets quiet and visibly anxious every time there is a conflict. We may encourage them to be more assertive. More direct. But when we learn that every time there was a conflict in her childhood home her parents were verbally abusive to each other and to the children, a light goes on in our head. Suddenly we understand her behavior. We see her point of view and why she gets quiet. She is bracing herself for the storm.

We have put our self in her shoes. We have demonstrated empathy. Which is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another without having experienced the exact same thing.

We won’t tell her to suck it up. Quit being a wimp. Tell her she is too sensitive. Or belittle her.

No, we will demonstrate compassion. Which is showing sympathetic pity and concern for the sufferings or misfortunes of others. It is understanding the pain of another and trying to lessen it.

We will say we are sorry she grew up in a household like that. That we understand her anxiety during conflict. We will encourage her and sympathize with her. And our advice will take her background and experiences into account.

The benefits of seeing other viewpoints is numerous to us and those around us. Seeing other perspectives makes us better people and will improve our relationships.

 

Benefits of seeing another viewpoint. 

 

There are many advantages to being able to see other points of views.

This trait allows us to show compassion. Empathy. Kindness. Tenderness. Care and concern. Patience. Love. Long suffering. Gentleness. Mercy. Grace.

Seeing a point of view other than our own helps us understand people. Helps us forgive people. Keeps us from being so judgmental and critical. Lessons our hypocrisy. Assists us in releasing anger against others.

Seeing the world and people from a perspective other than our own helps us rejoice with those around us and mourn with those around us.

And just because we can see another’s point of view, does not mean we agree with them. But it does allow us to better understand them and their decisions.

Seeing other point of views helps us better understand our self. It can change or validate our feelings, thoughts, and viewpoint. It helps us learn and grow.

It helps us be better parents. Bosses, Employees. Neighbors. Children. Friends. Citizens.

It encourages us to be less selfish and self-focused.

And it makes us more like Jesus.

The benefits of seeing other viewpoints is numerous to us and those around us. Seeing other perspectives makes us better people and will improve our relationships.

 

Jesus is our model of someone who can identify with other viewpoints.

 

He wasn’t content to imagine what being a human was like. He came down to experience it.

He knows what it is like to be hungry. To be so tired your eyes keep closing and your head is nodding up and down. He understands what cold feels like and how a tasty meal can be the highlight of a day.

He knows what it is like to scrape a knee. Struggle to learn something new. Live in an unperfect family. Have the town gossip about you.

He knows what it is like to obey parents. To feel the wind blow. To laugh at a joke. To walk far on a hot day.

He knows about being a human and all that goes with it because he willingly humbled himself so he could better empathize, sympathize, and understand us.

He wanted to know our point of view. What it was like to live in an unperfect world with sin and suffering. Kindness and hate. Joy and unrest. Love and anger.

We are told he experienced it all and can empathize with us as our brother.

And his attitude demonstrates this.

He didn’t tell the lame man that he should have been a vegan and taken his vitamins, no he had compassion on him and healed him.

He didn’t lecture the lady caught in adultery and recite her sins to all who would listen, making her the object of a lecture so others could learn from her bad example. No, he had compassion on her and told her to sin no more.

He offered her grace. What she did not earn or deserve.

And he offers us the same.

The benefits of seeing other viewpoints is numerous to us and those around us. Seeing other perspectives makes us better people and will improve our relationships.

 

The dangers of seeing only our viewpoint.

 

Our enemy want us to keep our eyes focused only on our self. To see only our perspective. To promote our beliefs and opinions.

He doesn’t want us to see other perspectives. To put our self in another person’s point of view.

Because then we bond and connect with that person. We develop empathy and compassion. We better understand them and sympathize with them.

No, he wants us to criticize, judge, hold a grudge, think of ourselves as superior to them. Accuse instead of ask questions. Fight with them. Hold them in contempt. Adhere to only our viewpoint and consider none other.

But God’s way is to be open to other viewpoints. To love others and God, we have to be open to and consider their viewpoints.

And to become more like Christ, don’t we have to adopt and consider and strive to replace our viewpoint with his view point?

The benefits of seeing other viewpoints is numerous to us and those around us. Seeing other perspectives makes us better people and will improve our relationships.

 

What can we do?

 

We can develop our empathy and compassion muscles by taking the time and energy to listen to others. Ask questions. And try to understand them and their point of view.

The neat thing is God made us all different. We have different personalities. Gifts and talents. Different things motivate us. Make us sad and happy. We laugh at different jokes. Cry at different movies. Have different favorite foods, colors, and decorating styles. We grew up in different families, environments, and do different jobs.

Let’s be curious and broaden our horizons and thinking.

We can learn more about our self. Examine and understand our view point so we can change and overwrite the flaws we see. Having self-awareness helps us throw off the chains that are slowing us down and keeping us in bad habits.

We can learn to see other perspectives. So we can better love, understand, and connect with those around us. So we become God’s hands and feet to a world who needs grace and compassion.

Above all, we need to see, understand, and develop God’s perspective. His viewpoint is full of truth, grace, and mercy. Which will lead us to be more compassionate and empathetic to our self and others.

The benefits of seeing other viewpoints is numerous to us and those around us. Seeing other perspectives makes us better people and will improve our relationships.

Thanks for stopping by. Keep remembering what’s important.

Theresa


Having trouble enjoying life? Reconciling your current reality with how you wish life really was? Get a free PDF with 12 tips to help you enjoy your life right now. Subscribe and join the journey. You will also receive weekly encouragement and hope tied up with some humor. Because life is sweeter when we walk alongside one another.


Join the Discussion: How has seeing other viewpoints helped you? 

The benefits of seeing other viewpoints is numerous to us and those around us. Seeing other perspectives makes us better people and will improve our relationships.

May link up at Kelly Balarie (#purposeful faitht), Crystal Storms (#HeartEncouragement), Maree Dee (#Grace & Truth), Anita Ojeda (#inspirememonday), and Mary Geison (#tellhisstory).

 

The benefits of seeing other viewpoints is numerous to us and those around us. Seeing other perspectives makes us better people and will improve our relationships.

The Benefits of Complaining

It is so easy to slip into complaining.

Do you have this problem? Complaining more than you want?

I know that sometimes I am complaining, and I don’t even realize I am complaining. Other times I know I am complaining, but it is hard to stop until I have vented my frustration.

Anyone else raising their hand?

There seems to always be something to complain about.  Big things and small things. Though I tend to favor small things.

How about you? Big or small things?

Learn the 4 benefits of complaining. Then take complaining to the next level and do something about your complaints.Learn the 4 benefits of complaining. Then take complaining to the next level and do something about your complaints.Learn the 4 benefits of complaining. Then take complaining to the next level and do something about your complaints.It’s easy to complain.

 

I am trying to get ready and the phone rings. The bird needs to be put in her cage. Someone asks where their shoes are. I realize I haven’t yet brushed my teeth. And oh yes, what am I going to wear?

Stress builds. Frustration rises.

Then as we are leaving the house someone says, “I thought this started at 6pm.”

I look at the clock. It says 6:05.

I glance at the calendar. Yup, starts at six. Which means we needed to leave at 5:30.

In the car I complain about people distracting me. How I need people to take care of the bird and get themselves ready. And anything mildly related.

We arrive half an hour late, and in a bad mood, mainly because I have complained and vented.

I apologize, but we are all a bit somber. All because I mixed up the time to go and arrive as one in the same. And then complained to a car-captive audience.

That time it was my fault.

But sometimes it is not my fault.

I complain because it seems no one in my house can return an item back to its original and designated spot.

Or because I get tired of waiting for people to show up at the dinner table.

Or because my day has gone nothing like how I wanted it to.

Yup.

So many things to complain about.

In fact, the list seems never ending. We can complain about life, others, circumstances, our day, work, pets, health, politics, laws, food, movies, service, accommodations, traveling, technology, ourselves, and much more.


Learn the 4 benefits of complaining. Then take complaining to the next level and do something about your complaints.Why we complain.

 

We often complain because we have a sense of entitlement. We expect things to unfold orderly, and ultimately go a certain way. We expect (and think) people to act certain way. We expect (and think we deserve) to be treated a certain way.

In short. We complain because things, people, or life is not going as we expected.

I know. It sounds a little shallow of us, doesn’t it?

And it reveals our selfishness and that we are thinking mostly about our self.

Ugg. Not pretty, I know.


Learn the 4 benefits of complaining. Then take complaining to the next level and do something about your complaints.The benefits of complaining.

 

I did say there were benefits of complaining, so let’s get to them.

1. Complaining can highlight the things that irritate us and identify what we consider to be a problem.

2. Complaining can help us label our feelings.

3. Complaining can illuminate the expectations we had for that situation or person.

4. Complaining can point out our self-focused heart.

In short, complaining can help us get to know ourselves better and shine a light into our motivations, feelings, attitudes, and expectations.

But how are these a benefit?

Has this ever happened to you?

You are complaining to your friend about your mate always being late. You are ready early, he has never been early to anything. And as you are describing your frustration about waiting for him and explain how you feel about arriving late to most things, you feel your blood pressure rise.

Presto! You’ve identified what you consider a problem.

You dislike being late. And he is late.

And you have begun to identify your feelings about this problem.

You hate waiting. You feel anger. Frustration. Annoyance. Maybe slighted because he doesn’t consider that you want to be early to events. Not late.

And if you were to probe further, you may find that waiting for him makes you feel disrespected. Not loved. Or maybe the cardinal rule in your childhood was never be late. So, you relate being late to breaking a rule of life.

See all the good information you have learned about yourself? {Stuff you can use to help you not get upset next time this predictable late dance happens again.}

Now let’s dig a little deeper.

You have looked at being late from your point of view, now let’s try to look at it from his viewpoint.

Your mate probably doesn’t see being late as a problem big enough to change. Or he probably wouldn’t be consistently late. Maybe he grew up in a family where they were always late. Or maybe he has no sense of time. Or maybe he has anxiety about being early.

Like I said, this is a problem to you. And why? Because it bugs you.

And it bugs you because you are an early bird married to a late bird. It bothers you because he is different than you. It bothers you because you hate being late. And in your rule book (your expectations), one needs to be early.


Learn the 4 benefits of complaining. Then take complaining to the next level and do something about your complaints.Looking closer at the benefit of complaining.

 

Complaining has identified three important things we need if we are going to change or fix something in our life.

First, we need to identify the problem.  We can’t change a problem without identifying it.

The more we can identify the things that irritate us, the better able we are to address those situations and take steps to not be irritated. We cannot take steps to prevent, sidestep, or change until we have identified a problem.

Second, we need awareness. We need awareness about how we feel, our actions, motivations, expectations, and personality. The more aware we are of how the problem makes us feel, act, and why we feel this way, than we can choose the next step and figure out what to do about the problem.

If we can identify our feelings, and work through them, we will rule them, instead of them ruling us.

Third, after gaining awareness of ourselves, we can gain awareness of others. After we look at the problem or situation from our point of view, we can step back and gain perspective by examining other viewpoints.

The more we can figure out the other person and why they act or think a certain way, the easier it is to give grace, understanding, and decide how to go about compromising and trying to solve the problem. Trying to understand their viewpoint also helps the situation be less of an I-am-right point of view, and they-are wrong point of view (or the winner / loser scenario). It also helps us not take their actions so personally.

We can also look at the problem or situation through the big picture of life and gain insight on how important the thing we are complaining about really is in the scheme of life.


Learn the 4 benefits of complaining. Then take complaining to the next level and do something about your complaints.Complaining never solves a problem.

 

Usually we like to complain. Then after we have vented, we feel better.

Until next time.

But you see. Complaining never solves a problem. It takes no action.

My sister told me this one day and it made a big impression on me.

Complaining just exercises our tongue. And often it encourages us to shame and blame, or lecture, those involved, but there is no plan developed. No steps taken to alleviate or live with the problem.

It is time to take complaining to the next level. After we have identified the problem and our feelings concerning the problem, let’s take some action.

Let’s attempt to solve (minimize or deal with) the problem and eliminate further complaining.


Learn the 4 benefits of complaining. Then take complaining to the next level and do something about your complaints.Solving the problem.

 

Here is the action part. The brain work.

It is time to reap the benefits of all that complaining and move to solving the problem. To quit being the victim and move to choices.

Back to the problem of the early bird and tardy bird. There are many choices available.

You can discuss it with him and tell him how his lateness makes you feel. You can come to a compromise. You can take separate cars. Maybe reward yourself with something enjoyable while he is taking so long to get ready. Tell him things start 30 minutes earlier than they really do. Decide to just   overlook it and live with it. Catch yourself getting irritated and decide not to let it ruin your day. Catch yourself wanting to nag and complain him into moving faster, and instead name two things aloud to him that you appreciate about him.

The one thing you cannot do is change him. He has to do that himself.

The thing to remember is that you have lots of choices.

When we feel we have choices, we can quit complaining and instead choose to do something different.

Not all problems we complain about can be changed. Sometimes we need to find ways to deal with the problem in the best possible way. But we never get to dealing with the problem in a better way, until we identify the problem, our feelings associated with the problem, our expectations concerning the problem, and then take action to do or try something different.

I am not encouraging you to complain, but once you have, use the benefits (the knowledge learned) of complaining to your advantage.

Move to the next step of dealing with or solving the problem.

You’ll be happier, and so will those around you.

Learn the 4 benefits of complaining. Then take complaining to the next level and do something about your complaints.P.S. Possible questions to ask yourself to help you solve your problem and benefit from complaining.

1. What do I really feel about this topic / problem?

2. Why might I be feeling this way?

3. Why does this problem bother me so much?

4. What are my expectations for this problem? Why or how did I develop of choose those expectations?

5. What might the other person’s viewpoint be?

6. What might their expectations be?

7. What have I learned about myself (or them) that can help in the future?

8. Do I want to address this topic / problem with the person? What would be the best way of doing this?

9. How do I want to address, or react, next time this problem / situation comes up? (Come up with a plan of action.)

Helpful tip: Complain to a person who will listen, ask similar questions, and help you figure out your answers to these questions.

My sister and I call each other to complain, and then often we ask some of these hard questions of each other. This helps us identify the problem, and then decide what we are going to do about the problem.

Thanks for stopping by. Keep remembering what’s important.

Theresa

 


If you need some weekly encouragement and hope, tied up with some humor? Subscribe and join the journey. Life is sweeter when we walk alongside one another.


Join the Discussion: What are some benefits you have noticed about complaining?

Learn the 4 benefits of complaining. Then take complaining to the next level and do something about your complaints.May link up at Holley Gerth (#coffeeforyourheart), Lori Schumaker (#Moments of Hope), Crystal Storms (#HeartEncouragement), Maree Dee (#Grace & Truth).

Learn the 4 benefits of complaining. Then take complaining to the next level and do something about your complaints.We can't spread peace around the world. But we can spread peace to those around us. To our little neighborhood, one peaceful act at a time.