Thanksgiving doesn’t always go as planned. And that is all right. It can be different and held on a card table, and still be Thanksgiving. Because what is important is not the food or location.
Thanksgiving was a big deal at our house when I was growing up.
So naturally, when I married and started hosting my own, I continued the tradition.
Time and energy were put into planning the menu, decorating, cleaning the house, pulling out the best china and tablecloths. The night before I would bake at least four desserts. I wanted to present the best food and experience for the guests.
One year, I realized that while we had celebrated Thanksgiving with all kinds of family and friends, I had not spent a Thanksgiving with my dad for twenty-some years, mainly because my mom divorced him the same year I got married.
Now, this lack of spending Thanksgivings together was not because we never saw one another. He was a beloved member of our family and one of our favorites. Most every summer, he would drive 12 hours to come visit us for a month or two. And most every vacation we talked him into joining us.
We had many memories of my dad and us doing, going, and celebrating. None, though, involved Thanksgiving.
So, one night during our weekly two-hours chats, I suggested we come visit him over the Thanksgiving holiday.
He protested, at first, saying it was a long way to drive for only a few days. He also reminded me that he lived in a small two-bedroom apartment.
When he heard I was serious, he started to get excited.
Now, my dad was a poor farm boy who grew into a humble hardworking man with simple tastes. He drove a 15- year old car and furnished his apartment from finds at the thrift store. Possessions were not important to him. Relationship and people were.
We squeezed in that first night, hubby and I sleeping in the extra bedroom, the two children on the living room floor.
Dad hovered over us, concerned for our comfort and the lack of space at his place. He even suggested a hotel room.
No; we had come to spend time with him.
I wanted this Thanksgiving to be special for my dad. I wanted to make delicious food he did not cook for himself as a bachelor. I wanted him to feel loved by us. I wanted to make up for all those Thanksgivings we had not shared together. But cooking breakfast in his small kitchen, with about two feet of workable counter space, I realized I was going to have to pare back my grand Thanksgiving plans.
Despite that small kitchen, I managed to bake a delicious turkey, cranberries, sweet potatoes, a vegetable, fruit salad, stuffing, and cobbler.
Dad’s kitchen table only sat two. So, when it came time for the grand feast, dad pulled out a plastic-topped card table with four matching chairs. Then he pulled up a kitchen chair. We set the table for five. No fine china. No tablecloth. No flowers. No fancy little butter dish or roll plates. But there was laughter, love, stories, and good will flowing in and out and around that small apartment.
We had a simpler Thanksgiving that year. Humbler food and surroundings, but it did not matter. Because if you had looked around that little living room and seen us sitting there at the card table with laden-down plates, laughing and eating, you would have seen the love. Felt the closeness. Seen the delight in my children’s eyes. Noticed the sparkle in my dad’s eyes at the joy of sharing this day and gift with us.
When it comes down to it, I usually stress and worry about Thanksgiving. What to cook? Who to invite? How to decorate? When the important thing is the atmosphere, the love, and the offering of the food itself to those who come to participate.
That was the last Thanksgiving I had with my dad. He died unexpectedly a few years later.
But like he did so often in life with his quiet and humble manner, he taught me that a simpler Thanksgiving in a tiny living room on a card table can be the best Thanksgiving of all.
Wishing all of your a Happy Thanksgiving!
Theresa
This guest post first appeared at Her View From Home.
Join the Discussion: Do you have a thanksgiving that stands out to you?
May link up at Kelly Balarie (#purposeful faith), Crystal Storms (#HeartEncouragement), Maree Dee (#Grace & Truth), Anita Ojeda (#inspirememonday), InstaEncouagements ((IE Link-Up), and Mary Geison (#tellhisstory).
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What a beautiful memory of a special time with your Dad; a wonderful reminder that the most important things are not the details and the trimmings but the people we share our lives with. I pray you and your family have a blessed Thanksgiving this year. (Visiting from Inspire Me Monday.)
Thanks Christine. Thanksgiving blessings to you and your family too. Yes, the people count more than the place setting or even the food.
Theresa,
Thank you for sharing this story that brings our Thanksgiving celebrations back to their humble purpose – to give thanks. It doesn’t matter if it’s a magnificent spread or take-out Thanksgiving on paper plates. It’s truly about taking the time to thank God. May you have a peace-filled Thanksgiving.
Blessings,
Bev xx
Blessing on your Thanksgiving day too, Bev. May we focus on what matters this year.
One of my favorite Thanksgivings was during Pedro’s cancer–we drove from San Francisco to Reno, NV, and my parents brought our girls down from Montana to Reno where we all gathered at my parent’s time-share for a day of togetherness. We didn’t have our usual treats (because it’s had to cook and bake when you’re away from home), but we knew the fragility of life and cherished each moment together.
Thanks for sharing, Anita. At times like that we can see the bigger picture and that being together is the most important thing.
Theresa, Such a lovely story, I loved it and such truths within. Thank you so much for sharing. Blessings.
Thanks for visiting, Paula. Blessings on your Thanksgiving.
“Table for five. No fine china. No tablecloth. No flowers. But there was laughter, love, stories, and goodwill . . .”
Simpler, humbler – but closeness, delight, sparkle.
Thank you for sharing this story, Theresa:)
This year due to the pandemic we will have just four around our table. While we will miss those not here, we will see some of them on a Zoom chat. We are thankful for so much this year, most of all God’s bounty and Faithfulness.
Gratefully,
Katie
Thanksgiving will be different this year, Katie, but there is still stuff to be grateful for. Yes, to God’s faithfulness and bounty. Enjoy your table of 4 and Zoom chat. Technology is something else I’m thankful for.:)
Thank you for sharing – your story really touched me. We don’t celebrate Thanksgiving here but are starting to plan ahead for Christmas. My number of guests is getting smaller at the moment (I hope one day it will grow again, with new arrivals!) and I am very aware of those that are no longer with us, so yes definitely our priority is always the relationships and the people!
What a wonderful tribute to your dad, Theresa! He sounds like a good man and a great dad. I often find that the most effective leaders are the quiet ones who lead by example. Your dad did that. Thank you for sharing your inspiring story. I hope you and your family have a happy Thanksgiving!
This is a beautiful story Theresa! Such love in the midst of simplicity and how you blessed your Dad! Such truth here about not needing all of that fuss! Thank you!!
Simplicity is sometimes the best. And one is not as worn out at the end. Blessings on your Thanksgiving.
Ahhh, Theresa, this was beautiful. I am so glad you had that Thanksgiving with your dad. My family always did Thanksgiving up big too. My parents invited singles over and we set a big table. Actually, it was a dining room table with a 4×8 piece of wood and a table cloth over it. But the laughter and stories flowed.
When my husband and I married and moved far from family, I tried t replicate the idea of inviting people over who may not have anywhere to go. My husband is an introvert, so our gatherings are smaller, but that’s okay. We do spend many holidays with my family, and I’m thankful for that gift.
I hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving!
That Thanksgiving with my dad was special, and the last one we had with him before he unexpectantly died. Thanks for sharing your Thanksgiving story. We have done that through the years, gathering people who have no place to go. The fun thing, is there is no right or wrong way to celebrate Thanksgiving. Blessings on your Thanksgiving too.
yes, yes. quieter, humbler, simpler.
that would just about wrap up this year. i’m grateful …
And that’s not all bad.
Lovely post, friend. Shared on Twitter. Happy Thanksgiving to you!