Do you ever see someone else and suddenly do a double take?
Maybe they look like your twin. Are wearing something you own. Saying something you would say. Have the same name and hair color. Or they have some quirky mannerism you have been teased about all your life.
Anyway, you stop and stare and can’t quite tear your eyes away from them, even if you are beginning to feel a bit like a scary stalker.
We were ordering ice cream when I turned around and there was a lady walking towards us with her husband and kids. And darn, if she wasn’t wearing my skirt — the same blue pencil skirt splashed with brown and tan flowers that I had at home in my closet.
I looked at her again and realized it wasn’t my size, so she hadn’t snuck into my closet and borrowed, or stolen my skirt. But what was she doing with my skirt?
I kept watching her, feeling like she was imitating me. Like she had stolen my identity. As if I was somehow watching myself. I was caught in a deja-vu moment. I couldn’t tear my eyes away.
I felt like saying, “Will the real Theresa please stand up!”
How I let my self-identity and worth be stolen?
It was a skirt I had bought last year. One I thought conveyed my personality. Of course, I knew I hadn’t bought the only one. But it was the first time I had bumped into someone wearing something I owned. Something so distinctive. Not like a gray t-shirt or black leggings that everyone else had.
We eventually wandered away, but I kept thinking about that lady wearing my skirt.
Obviously, she wasn’t trying to imitate me or pretend to be me, but it kinda felt like it. And it felt like maybe she was a better me.
Suddenly I felt like I wasn’t as unique as I thought I was. Or was told I was.
I wondered if she had the same taste in clothes as me. In what other ways were we alike?
She didn’t steal my identity, but suddenly it felt compromised. Almost fake. Not quite real.
And yet I was still the same person. Nothing had changed, expect I had seen another woman wearing my skirt.
On a good day this would have had me laughing and complimenting her good taste, but on that day it had me doubting and wondering.
Maybe because she looked more put together than I did. She appeared more confident, relaxed, and her children were smiling and looked to be about perfect.
She didn’t look like she had fought with her toddler to get his shoes on. Made only popcorn and apple slices for dinner. Had a run in with her teen. Or words with her husband.
See, that is what comparison looks like. Them winning, and you feeling lower than a flattened and blackened penny.
And all because she was wearing my skirt that I thought looked like me. Maybe was me, on some days.
Self-identity and worth, what contributes to them?
If we are not careful our identity gets stolen. Compromised. Hidden. Disbelieved.
We doubt ourselves. Question ourselves. Compare ourselves. Feel like imposters.
We do everything but believe the truth of God. Who says we are his beloved. His child bought and paid for. Whom he delights in.
We instead listen to the voices in our head. The voices whispered by our enemy saying we are not enough or do enough. We listen to the voices of society that tells us we should be all and do all.
The lies get louder than the truth. They dare us to prove them wrong, and we can’t. Not of our own power. Not of our own strength.
Improving your identity and self-worth problems.
Ladies, this is our dilemma. Are we going to believe the voices of others that lie to us, or are we going to choose to believe the truth teller who loves more than we can even fathom?
Are we going to argue and protest and say no way when he calls us beloved? Or are we going to say thank you and accept the free gift he is handing us?
Are we going to try to earn our worth and identity by what we do and accomplish, or accept what he has accomplished for us and freely gives us?
Are we going to believe the lies swirling in our head and around us, or believe his truth captured in written words?
Don’t let someone or yourself tell you that you are not of worth. Because you are. Not because of what you say or do, but because he says you are.
Don’t let your past, present, mistakes, sins, or faults determine your identity. We don’t need to be perfect because he is.
Don’t let your identity be determined by others — your mother, kids, husband, friend, boss, teacher, co-worker, neighbor, or your negative self-talk. Evaluate their words and see if they are true? Right? Do they align with your true identity given by God?
Tell yourself the truth daily. Tell your sisters the truth. Your children. Your mate. Your co-workers and neighbors.
You are valuable. Loved. Precious. Enough. Your worth comes from being his and not what we do or say.
Let us proclaim the truth loudly and drown out the lies that are swirling through the air stealing and trying to change our God given identity. Our worth.
Thanks for stopping by. Keep remembering what’s important.
P.S. To protect our identity and worth we need to listen to the right voices. What Voices Are You Listening To?
If you need some weekly encouragement and hope, tied up with some humor? Subscribe and join the journey. Life is sweeter when we walk alongside one another.
Join the Discussion: What steals your worth or identity?