What allows us to see two perspectives at the same time? To feel conflicting emotions simultaneously? To live between two worlds and make sense of it all? It is this ability to live in two extremes.
“How are you doing?” someone asks.
“Fine.” We answer.
Or maybe we say, “Everything is good.”
Or “Not too bad.”
But life is never that easy to pin down. One word does not so tidily sum up the complexities of life.
What we are going through. What we are experiencing. Our moods and feelings for the day. Or even the moment.
It can be hard for us to know what we are experiencing and thinking, so how do we even begin to put it into words.
So, we say fine, and turn the conversation to something easier to pin down. Like the weather. What we accomplished that week. Or our dog’s latest antic.
Feeling two opposites
The more I pay attention to life, the more I notice that opposites often reside together. Nestling into the same event.
Even the same moment.
I can be feeling opposites within close range of each other. Even ricocheting off one another. Or circling one another.
I can be about ready to give a presentation and feel anxious because I will soon walk to the front and open myself up for scrutiny from the audience, and yet I also feel calm, because I am prepared and have practiced many times.
I can feel both peace about my decision, and yet conflict when I am about to tell someone who will question my decision.
A photo of a loved one can come into my radar, and I can feel sadness wash over me from missing them, and yet I also can feel joy remembering that day on a windy hill in Ireland when we hopped across the stream to take our photo together.
At the end of every conference, every school year, every vacation, every out of state visit to loved ones, there is an excitement that it is over, and yet a longing for life to resume to the way it was before the thing began. Or it can be the other way around. A sadness that it is over and a longing for it to continue.
Moving from a house is sad, the feeling of a time period ending pervades the air, and yet the future adventure awaits and a newness clings to the air.
People coming for a weekend visit makes me excited to see them, but weary with all the things that need to be done before their arrival.
So many times, there are several and conflicting extreme emotions for the same event. All close to one another.
Life is full of extreme opposites.
Life is full of opposites, even in the same event.
Sometimes at the same time.
We swing from two extremes, like a seesaw, emotions and feelings trying to catch up. Sometimes swamping us.
We embrace the two opposites as one or bounce back and forth.
Peace and conflict.
Sadness and joy.
Love and anger.
Aggravation and calm.
Complaining and gratitude.
Chaos and mess.
Elated and scared.
Resolute and quaking.
These two opposites can be both true. Both felt. Neither one cancels out the other. It seems weird, but we can reside in both at the same time.
It is all part of life. Part of what makes us human. Part of how we make sense of the world and what we are experiencing. Feeling. Interpreting.
Two ways of viewing the same thing.
My study is a bit of a mess. There are piles of paper here and there on my desk because I am working on so many things. Have ideas caught by pen onto paper. Have several projects going on at the same time.
I look at it and it and I see accomplishments. Work. Things to do. And Progress.
My husband looks and sees chaos and a mess. Clutter.
So often two or more people see different things when looking at the same thing. Even experience different things
A child sees a long summer as freedom. The parent may see it as being on call 24/7.
One person sees a pet as their best friend, another person sees allergies, extra work, and vet bills.
One person sees a house in need of repair as a project, an opportunity, a sense of accomplishment as the items needing done get crossed off. Another person sees stress, a money pit, a time sucker.
We live in the extremes and between the extremes.
These extremes do not only apply only to our emotions, feelings, and circumstances.
As Christians we live in two extreme worlds. God’s kingdom and this kingdom.
We live as new creatures and yet our old nature is there beside us.
We are imperfect, and yet clothed in righteousness.
We are broken and sinful, and yet loved unconditionally and beloved by our creator.
We are imperfect, and yet redeemed.
We are caught in trials and hardships, and yet can be grateful, rejoicing and at peace.
We can be loved, but not accepted by everyone.
We can be poor, but rich in things that count.
We can be the least, and yet the first.
What is the advantage of being able to reside in and see extremes?
It means that life is layered and more complex. Often, things are neither all good or all bad.
Because of this ability to travel and reside in the extremes of life, we can be discouraged and yet be grateful. And because of this we are able to rejoice and count our blessings no matter what the circumstances.
Not because life is progressing smoothly with no detours, but because we are able to see the opposite. Able to feel more than one emotion and see more than one perspective. Able to look forward and backward at the same time and make some sense of things.
Counting our blessing doesn’t mean that we are not longing for things to be better or different, but it means we are able to see points of hope and ways that things are good enough at the moment.
And this is a good thing.
It means we can experience two opposites at the same time. Live in two worlds.
It means we can have hope and peace, and find the good, even when life is far from perfect.
Feeling, embracing, and accepting two opposites makes our life richer. Easier. And more complex.
Want to read more, Maree Dee discusses this idea from a different angle. Two Things Can Be True at the Same Time
Thanks for stopping by. Keep remembering what’s important.
Theresa
Join the Discussion: What are some opposites you are experiencing?
May link up at Kelly Balarie (#purposeful faith), Crystal Storms (#HeartEncouragement), Maree Dee (#Grace & Truth), Anita Ojeda (#inspirememonday), InstaEncouagements ((IE Link-Up), and Mary Geison (#tellhisstory).
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You’ve captured this difficult concept so well, Theresa. I was just reflecting this morning on some of those opposites of 2020, such as, we give up too easily, yet we can’t let go quickly enough. God made us so complex, and even when we can’t understand it, we can know it’s a marvelous thing.
So well said, Lisa. God made us so complex. And it can be a marvelous thing.
Hi Theresa,
You are so right. I think we live in a world where not many people really want to know how another individual is doing or how they are feeling. So, the question becomes a rhetorical statement…and as you said people move on to the weather report. We all need to slow down and recognize opposites make beautiful bouquets of flowers. Your post reminds us just how important it is to remain engaged with others and show care and concern for the welfare of all people.
I enjoyed this and the pictures are beautiful!
Hi Belinda, Love this: “slow down and recognize opposites make beautiful bouquets of flowers.” We are complex people and it takes time to know us. And for us to state what we are truly feeling and how we are doing.
I loved this post, Theresa. You have captured the complexities of life, seeing the world through multiple vantage points perfectly. We tend to want to simplify things – good/bad, black/white, happy/sad. It makes our lives easier if we can put events and people into categories. The truth is that most of the world is shades of gray, many events contain elements of happiness and sadness, and every person has some goodness and some sin in their make-up.
We do want to simplify things, Laurie, and put events and people into categories. But things are never that easy. Gray and shades exist everywhere. We start out seeing the world in simple terms as children, black and white, and as we mature we should realize the complexities and different shades. Nothing and no one is all anything. Like you said, we all have sin and goodness in all of us.
Such truth in the dichotomy of seeing things as opposites of even two sides of the same coin as it is. Happy to be your neighbor at Crystal’s this week!
Hi Jill. Thanks for stopping by.
“These two opposites can be both true. Both felt. Neither one cancels out the other. It seems weird, but we can reside in both at the same time” – it does seem weird and often we think we should feel only one way. But you’re so right because “of this ability to travel and reside in the extremes of life, we can be discouraged and yet be grateful”. It allows us to keep holding on and carry on. Great post
Thanks, Wemi. This ability definitely helps us in our Christian walk. I used to wonder how I could be hopeful or thankful when life wasn’t going so good. Now I know.
Theresa, hi! Maybe this is when we find peace, when we can fully embrace and appreciate that we are in two places at once. I’ve learned this year that joy and sorrow mingle well. It put the sorrow into a perspective I needed to see.
He understands …
Yes, Linda. I think you are right. We can find peace and appreciate it all when we let the two mingle together.
Thank you for this. I was recently reading how joy and grief can be together. There is hope in all this.
Yes, there is hope in seeing and feeling two extremes. And for that I am so thankful.
Theresa, I’ve been feeling what you describe acutely these days … thank you for putting it into words so perfectly.
You are welcome, Lois. I think as we age and have more life experiences we may see and experience the opposites more. Things become not so only one way.
Wow, Theresa, you have a brilliant way with words. This is such a powerful post and ever so timely for the world right now. I have always used humor as my go-to coping mechanism for most things and have been asked many times how I can laugh so hard when I am crying. I lost both of my parents at very young ages and literally laughed my way through their funerals (and my grandparent’s as well)…remembering the best bits of their lives, the ones that made me smile and laugh. We can feel two opposing emotions at once and for me, it just makes the experience of life so much richer. Embracing this dichotomy, this contradiction, this contrast is the best way to get the most out of this life. Thanks so much for sharing your beautiful words and message!
Shelbee
http://www.shelbeeontheedge.com
Thanks Shelbee. I too use humor to get me through tough times. Sometimes if I wasn’t laughing, I would be crying, as I am feeling both emotions. I so get the laughing at a funeral. I cried at my dad’s ceremony, and then laughed at his wake. It does help cement the best parts of the person in your memory. And it helps deal with grief.
I absolutely love this, Theresa! This is so true and yet so confounding at times. But you’ve encouraged me to see the joy in this very confusing and complex wiring we have as God’s creatures. After all, He, above all others, must constantly feel a conflict of emotions all the time. Why should we? Great insights, my friend! Pinning and tweeting!
Thanks Beth. And great insight about God and him feeling conflicting emotions.
You have captured the mystery of our conflicted feelings so well. Thanks be to God that he understands.us better than we do ourselves.
So true, Michele. So glad God gets us!
Theresa, I so appreciate how you put words to the idea of feeling conflicting emotions at the same time. I am thankful God enables us to feel different things, but even more that He helps us make sense of things when life is hard to understand. And, as you said, I’m thankful that “we can have hope and peace, and find the good, even when life is far from perfect.” There’s so much truth here.
Have a merry Christmas, Theresa!
It is partly a mystery how we can find joy during a trial and peace during a conflict, but we can. He made us marvelous creatures.
Merry Christmas, Jeanne.
I’m grateful to feel a variety of feelings at once. I think it’s important to feel our feelings, to sit with them and let them pass through us instead of ignoring them or wishing they would just go away. There’s power in feeling all of our feelings. For me, it makes life richer.
Hi Yvonne. Sitting with our feelings is so important. And while we sometimes think they may overwhelm us, they don’t, and it doesn’t take long before they pass. I was just reading a book about letting our emotions pass through us and how this completes the stress cycle so we don’t walk around so stressed.
You’ve expressed this so beautifully here, Theresa! Life is so complex, and this year it seems to be even more so than usual as we have to think so much more about ordinary situations we’d normally not even consider. I’m definitely feeling this as I look towards Christmas – wanting to see family but being concerned about the risk, and looking forward to Christmas but also sad that it’s going to be so different this year. I think it helps to recognise the complexity and accept it, and as you say it can make our lives richer.
Hi Lesley. It is such a hard season with so many complexities to consider and ultimately accept and come to terms with. May you find the answers and solutions that help you enjoy this Christmas. Merry Christmas; may Christ’s love and peace fill your heart.
Theresa,
I love your words. This has been a concept that I cling to. It has helped me through some deep pain while seeing the joy. Thank you for the mention. I didn’t see it until now. You are a blessing.
Maree
Maree, Glad to mention you; I thought our two articles dove tailed nicely. Without the extremes, our life would be unbearable in hard times.