I thought life was supposed to be easy. And then it turned hard. So, why is life harder than we imagined it would be?
Growing up, I thought adults had everything figured out.
I thought life was supposed to get easier.
After all, I would no longer be in third grade still wondering how to navigate making friends. In fifth grade, dealing with a mean classmate. Or in junior high, wondering how to disengage the lock on my locker or wondering who to sit with at lunch.
Books usually end on an everyone-is-happy and problems-solved note. I thought adult life was like this.
I also thought adults had control of their life. Their destiny. And situations. Problems, hardships, and trials were not supposed to be part of our forever happy story.
But they are.
And not just for us, but for everyone. All humans.
I haven’t yet met anyone who as an adult hasn’t encountered hardship. Because whether we like it or not, life is hard.
Is life hard for everyone?
Bad things happen to good people and not so good people. Guaranteed.
Hard days, months, and years settle down to visit us. And stay longer than we want.
Hard days, where everything that can go wrong does go wrong, happen more often than we want. Days where we are tired and just want to curl up, but have to keep marching, sneak up on us. Days where our to-do list is longer than the amount of time we have, settle down to taunt us.
Hard things happen in life. We have to choose between two bad choices. We lose a job. A loved one dies. Dreams are put on hold and then aborted. Our path takes detours we didn’t plan. We experience health problems. Infertility. Divorce. Abuse. Bankruptcy.
And through it all, we gain more experience and knowledge of how hard life can be. In our twenties, a cancer diagnosis may seem like something that can easily be beat. But after watching a loved one slowly fade from cancer, the diagnoses now carries more concern and fear than it used to.
After watching bad things happen to good friends, we view life through less rose-colored glasses, worry and stress mount in relation to our age and experiences. We have a glimpse of what can and will go wrong.
What makes us think life is not hard?
Where did we get this notion that life is not hard?
Because since the Garden expulsion, people have not had it easy. Sin, suffering, death, and hardship have been a constant.
And yet, we still cling to the lie that if we make the right choices, do the right thing, we can control our destiny. Control situations. Control ourselves and others. Just maybe, we can be the first person to not experience hardship, and instead have a blessed and easy life.
Experience does not support this lie. The bible does not support this notion. History does not support this leaning tower of blocks called happily-ever-after and easy-street. This win-against-the odds and be the only one with a charmed life is a fairy tale.
Jesus says, they persecuted me, they will persecute you. Every bible character experienced hardship. But still, we hope to escape hard. Say no to our fair share.
I know it seems pretty silly.
The truth is: this life is hard. For you, me, and everyone.
Easy street and happily-ever-after exists, but only in the next life where there will be no sadness, no death, no sin, no regrets.
That is what we cling to. That this is not our final place. We can live in the good place. The easy place. But only after walking through the hard down here.
Why we need to acknowledge that life is hard.
Not all of life is hard. Tough seasons mixed with easier seasons often tumble together. But there will be hard parts. Most definitely. There will also be beauty, joy, good, and laughter stirred in. And God wants us to cling to and enjoy these. They are good gifts from him and help ease the hard. Soften its edges.
Jesus knows about hard. He lived here and walked through hard. That’s why he promises to never leave or forsake us. It’s why he promises to carry our burdens, to give us his spirit, peace, love, joy, grace, and mercy. Not in small doses, but in overflowing doses, if we accept them and embrace them.
He promises to use the hard and difficult to refine us, grow us, and strengthen us, if we submit and allow him to use us.
But he never promises an easy life. Or that if we just say the right thing or do the right thing, our life will be easy and pain free.
Hard comes to rich and poor alike. So does pain.
Just like grace and mercy can be gifts to anyone with hands and hearts to hold them.
We don’t want to think something is wrong with us when life is hard. Nor do we want to minimize and pretend that life is not hard.
We do ourselves and others a disservice when we don’t acknowledge that life can be hard. When we judge the hard parts of life as not normal. When we think that hardships mean something is wrong with us or view it as a punishment.
We need to stop basing our worth, day, or feelings on whether our life is currently in a hard season or not. Experiencing hard times in life does not mean we are on the wrong track, that God doesn’t love us, or that we are less than.
It is best to realize that life is hard. Believe that life is hard. Acknowledge that life is hard. Because when we talk about it, it makes the hard parts of life easier. It is encouraging to others and helps them feel not so alone. It helps others see they can survive and get through their hard parts.
Let’s quit judging others for the hard parts in their life or envying people for who life currently seems easy. This neither helps them or us.
We instead want to encourage, give hope, spread love, and pass on joy to those going through hardship. Walking with them and holding their hand for a small part of their journey.
Because sharing the burdens helps us all. Eases the hardship of all.
Hard times are not pleasant. But if we are obedient and faithful, God will redeem our hard times to our benefit. And then if we share and talk about our hard times, our struggles can encourage and benefit those around us.
Remember, life on earth is the hardest part, but not the final part.
The easy part, (the, they-lived-happily-ever-after), comes next. And lasts for eternity. And that’s something to look forward to.
Thanks for stopping by.
Remember it is okay to be in a hard season, and acknowledge it is hard.
Theresa
Join the discussion: What helps you when life is hard?
May link up at Maree Dee (#Grace & Truth), Anita Ojeda (#inspirememonday), InstaEncouagements ((IE Link-Up), and Jeanne Takenaka (#tellhisstory).
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Theresa, I enjoyed this post, where did we get the notion that life isn’t or shouldn’t be hard? I know I have said that before! I love your comment that God is writing our story and all good stories involve conflict and hard parts-so true! What a comfort to know that it is God writing my story so He will use everything for my good and His glory!!
I know we try to give our kids a life free of hardship and pain, but we can’t. Not when we can’t even do it for ourselves. I think sometimes we equate pain and hard with punishment or with we have done something wrong. When often hard times in our life can be outside our control. Just look at what is going on this past year.
Theresa, a former pastor of mine used to say something like we’re always going into a trial, in the middle of a trial or about to come out of a trial. That’s just how life is, as you point out so clearly, and thinking that others have it better is just one more way comparison steals our joy. The longer I experience the hardness of life here, the more I look forward to heaven. Hugs, friend.
Yes, Lois. The hardness here does help us focus on heaven. And long for heaven. Your pastor is right. We are in the middle, about to enter, or come out. Knowing this truth makes it easier not to take trials so personally. They are just a part of life and happen to us all.
Theresa, thank you for sharing this blessed post. “ Easy street and happily-ever-after exists, but only in the next life where there will be no sadness, no death, no sin, no regrets.” Amen and Amen. Indeed, life is hard for All humans.
Life is hard, Paula. For all of us. Surrounded by sin and death and sorrow is not happily ever after.
This was a great post, Theresa! I loved when you said, “life on earth is the hardest part, but not the final part.” It’s something we should all keep in perspective. In comparison to eternity, the hardest part is going to be just a blip on our radar screen!
You are right, Jerralea. It may seem like a long blip now, but latter it will seem like a tiny blip.
This resonated–both my childhood (and sometimes child-ish adult) belief that grown-up life would be easy and the truth that we were promised it wouldn’t be easy. I loved the end of your post, that the easy (happily ever after) part comes next. As a hiker, I hate the hills, but they make the summit so much sweeter, so I get it–especially once I get to the top. The topic of trials isn’t one people want to enter into readily. Thanks for inviting us in so gently.
Hi Natalie. It is a mindset reset to realize that happily ever after does not happen down here. But when I readjust my expectations, I can enjoy the good in the life today and not be so disappointed in the setbacks along the way. Being a walker who has been on many mountain tails, I relate to your metaphor. The hills do get us to the summit view.
‘I would no longer be in third grade still wondering how to navigate making friends. In fifth grade, dealing with a mean classmate. Or in junior high, wondering how to disengage the lock on my locker or wondering who to sit with at lunch.’
I think maybe we are twins, Theresa …
Aww Linda. I’ll be your twin any day!
I can remember when the realization washed over me that I was, effectively, a believer in a prosperity gospel. Nowhere does God promise a trouble free exist, and still we act surprised when troubles arrive!
So true, Michele. That is a prosperity gospel. Which can cause us to think something is wrong with me or God, when troubles arrive.
Indeed not easy and not fair either, something we often feel we are entitled to. Thanks for this reminder that it is God who writes the end of the story.
We do often feel entitled to an easy life.
Theresa, you are right. Life can definitely be hard at times, but thank God that He is always with us even in the midst of the trials and hard times. I’m also thankful for family and friends who have been with me through hard times as well. Anyway, hugs and BLESSINGS TO YOU! :
Tai, Friends and family do help make those hard times less hard. So thankful for them too. That’s the beautiful thing, we can turn around and help others. Keep passing God’s love and grace onto others.
This is wonderful encouragement, Theresa. It helps us to know up front that life will be hard; otherwise, the slightest winds can blow us off course. None of us want those hardships, but when they come, at least we’re not surprised by them and we know Who to turn to!
Lisa, it does help knowing that there will be hard times in our life. Once in the middle of a very hard trial I was sharing with a friend that I was worried about the impact on our daughter. She wisely said that our daughter would learn that hard times are a part of life, but that they can be overcome or survived with God’s help. She told me this was a lesson that would help our daughter for the rest of her life. And she was right.
I can’t say I ever thought life would be easy, however, when I look at my life, I wonder at times why it is so hard yet in the hardest times, God is with me and we get through it together. Thanks for this wonderful encouragement.
Hi Friend. I am so thankful God does walk beside us.
When I was younger, I used to pray God would keep hard seasons and trials out of my life. I know. Silly prayer. I believe it’s in the most painful seasons when we can go the deepest with Jesus. We witness the way He shows up so faithfully, He loves us so perfectly—even when we’re not lovely or lovable—He guides us so gently through those seasons if we turn to Him.
Jeanne. So many if us have bought into the belief that if God loves us, he will give us an easy, blessed life with no hardships. And when hard things happen we wonder where God is and if he loves us. But this is not true. We really do see God’s love and care for us as we walk tough hard times with him. Your comments are so true and we learn this truth by experience.
Thanks for this, Theresa! Such a good reminder that when we experiences hardships we’re “not on the wrong track.”
There is never a track God can not use. We think our current hard situation is unredeemable, yet God can redeem anything and use it for our good and his glory.
Man, I really don’t like the hard parts of life when I’m going through them! But. I know each hard time in my life has made me stronger and better, and opened my eyes to character flaws I need to work on. Beautiful photos!
So true Anita. Hard times do help us see our character flaws and specific things we need to work on.